Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Don't call it a comeback

I’ve been here for years….

I’m a poser sports fan. I like sports, I really like attending sporting activities, I am somewhat athletic although the only organized sport I played at a “varsity” level was tennis—I played league baseball and church league basketball….I digress.

I’m a poser sports fan. I work at a company that employs a lot of rabid sports fans, and since I have a compulsion to fit in with the cool kids, I have been known to act like I know more than I really know about sports. I mean, some guys/girls have an encyclopedic knowledge of every player and every team, they know how many times Molina hit into a double play in 2004, they know how many strike outs Clemens had since he turned 34, they know how many Gold Gloves Maddox has, or how many TD receptions Terrell has at every team he has ever played for...

I have a mind for useless trivia, but I have never been all that interested in learning these vital stats, so I fake like I do. I am not sure why…it is perfectly acceptable in modern society to not know every sports stat…but I will learn one or two things, and then attempt to contribute to a conversation--- that way during football season, when “the guys” are standing around talking football, I can say: “Yeah, Deion Branch---that guy’s an animal…tied Jerry Rice in number of receptions in a Super Bowl…drafted 65th overall in 2002.”

Of course I don’t know any other stats of any other players, probably couldn’t name more than 5 of them, but that’s why I’m a poser, and I know it. First step is admitting you have a problem.


Anonymous David B. said...

You're never going to fit in with the cool kids if you keep spelling "Maddux" with an "O." Unless you're referring to former Phillies outfielder Gary Maddox, in which case your knowledge of baseball minutiae has morphed into nerdiness. (Sort of like mine.)

Incidentally, welcome back. I love your new stuff so far!

5:10 PM  

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