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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

oldie but a goody

from James Taranto's Best of the Web Oct 31, 2000


President Clinton is mighty ticked off at Esquire magazine. Yesterday, you'll recall, we learned that he had given the magazine an embarrassing interview in which he demanded an apology from Republicans for impeaching him. Now he says the magazine betrayed his trust. "I was promised faithfully that that interview would be . . . released after the election," an irritated Clinton said yesterday. But there it was on the Internet, more than a week early. Can you believe it? They lied to him. Just flat-out lied! Is there no honor left in this country?
Mr. President, we can relate. Let us tell you what happened to us a few years ago. We hired a fellow to do an important job, and this guy was charming and gifted, but he had--how do we put this delicately?--a "character problem." Apparently his marriage was on the rocks, and he was always hitting on women at the office, in violation of our sexual-harassment policy. Anyway, to make a long story short, he ended up having an improper relationship with a very young woman on the staff, and when we caught him at it, he looked us in the eye, waved his finger and lied to us. It gets worse. There was also a lawsuit, and he lied in a deposition, and then he lied under oath to a grand jury that was conducting a criminal investigation. That's not only dishonest, it's against the law!
We seriously considered firing him but in the end decided just to let his contract expire. (And get this--now he wants us to give his wife a job!)
Don't get us wrong, Mr. President. We don't mean to suggest that our little experience with this problem employee was as serious as the perfidy you've suffered at the hands of Esquire magazine. All we're saying is, we feel your pain.

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